Not Enough
These words stalk me.
They shadows my every step and darkens my mind to future ventures.
They are the black cloud that rains on my parade, and it is the inhibitor of true happiness.
I let these words, literally, rule my life.
I am never good enough.
I am never smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, sexy enough, successful enough, happy enough, quiet enough, giving enough to satisfy the imaginary perceptions of the people around.
I am so worried about looking good that I let my parade be rained on. I let my love walk on by, because why could he possibly want someone like me, with my big, great shadow. And I let the "weight" of what I think people think of me drag me to the ground, nail me to the floor, and I look mournfully up at the people passing me by.
When will I be able to be enough...for me. Because it is a two way street. When I am not enough, neither is anyone else.
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