Sunday, June 5, 2011

Day 20: Indy

I guess you said your goodbye.
I hadn't said mine, because I didnt know how to.
Even after all my experience, I struggle with letting you go.
I see you, for you, when you are dark and broken, and yet I see you.
Do you see me? Is that what scares you?
Is that what makes you turn away? The fear that you just might feel something you can't control?
I can't keep up with your changed mind. I can't sit through your tactics. I can't keep climbing your wall. I want more. I know you want less. Anything to not feel pain. Anything to just get through the next day still breathing. But I know you feel that loss of us. I know you feel it so intensely that it burns your tongue and sours your stomach. I see your back breaking under the strain of maintaining and it brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could help you. But I have been down that road before. Damn, have I been that road before. And it is a war I am already stacked to lose. 2 to 1. And even though I would try if you asked me to, you dont, so I won't. I can't...so I guess this is my goodbye, sweet but sad, just like us.

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